Juilliard Releases Banned Repertoire List, ‘12-‘13
NOTE: The following article is intended as humor and its contents do not reflect the real policies of the Juilliard Administration. The Juilliard Admissions Office has asked The Yard to refer prospective students to the official repertoire guidlines listed on the Juilliard Admissions website:
http://www.juilliard.edu/apply/program-information/index.php
This past week, the Juilliard Administration released a list of repertoire to be banned for the remainder of the 2012-2013 school year. The decision was made in response to growing discontent among faculty and students regarding the seemingly endless repetition of the same old hackneyed nineteenth century repertoire in the school’s recital halls, studio classes, and practice rooms alike.
News of the Ban caused a stir of commotion on the fourth floor, as security guards marched through the hallways nailing placards containing the complete banned works list to every practice room door. Students rushed out of their rooms to examine the list, some with fingers crossed hoping their current repertoire was safe from the Ban, others checking eagerly to see if their most-hated pieces would be blacklisted
“Tits!” shouted one. “I don’t have to hear that stupid theme from Tchaikovsky’s Rococo Variations again for another year!”
Others were less enthused. One pianist, wiping away tears, pressed her back against the wall and slowly slid to the ground, face in palm. “I worked all summer on the jumps at the end of the Mephisto Waltz, and they were just starting to feel comfortable,” she sniffled. “All for nothing!”
Another student was right in the middle of practicing the oboe excerpt from Ravel’s Le Tombeau de Couperin when he found out it was banned. “Does this mean I don’t have a lesson tomorrow?” he asked, confused.
A first-year master’s student in Baroque harpsichord who supports the Ban remarked, “Something had to be done, because shit was hitting the fan. Seriously, how many over-pedaled renditions of Chopin’s G Minor Ballade do I need to hear being played simultaneously in the same hallway during my practice break?”
Prohibited piano works also include Beethoven’s Appassionata Sonata, Chopin’s Op. 10 Études, Rachmaninoff’s Second and Third Piano Concertos, as well as the Liszt B Minor Sonata, Dante Sonata, and every work he composed between the years of 1837 and 1852.
For violin, the Tchaikovsky Concerto and Beethoven Kreutzer Sonata are banned, along with Paganini’s 24th Caprice and all subsequent variation-sets based on its theme (affecting several instruments). Bass players are banned from the Bottesini Concerto, Ein Heldenleben No. 9, and Mozart’s 35th Symphony excerpts. Among strings, violists were hit hardest, with all Bach Cello Suites prohibited as well as any passage of music containing a rhythm in 16th-notes or faster.
Clarinetists are forbidden from Schumann’s Fantasiestücke and the excerpts from Bartók’s Miraculous Mandarin, Flutists from Prokofiev’s Classical Symphony and Debussy’s Syrinx, while Bassoonists cannot touch The Rite of Spring. For percussionists, no more Porgy and Bess, trumpets and trombones can forget about Mahler 5 and the Ride of the Valkyries, respectively, and in a huge blow, horn players will not be allowed to play anything by Richard Strauss.
The vocal repertoire ban extends to the entire Bel Canto literature, all 24 Italian Songs and Arias, half of Schubert’s vocal output, and any Mozart aria containing a trill. A host of Puccini arias are scrapped, including “Quando m’en vo’,” “Un bel di,” “Nessun dorma,” and “O mio babbino caro,” as are all musical theater numbers and any song a singer might consider “jazzy.”
In preparation for the Ban’s enforcement, Juilliard officials have put all security personnel through a series of rigorous ear-training and music-appreciation courses, so that they may patrol the fourth floor listening for prohibited music coming from the practice rooms. Students acting in violation of the Ban will have their I.D.s immediately confiscated, and a hearing scheduled with the Disciplinary Review Board. After two infractions, a student could face expulsion.
While a majority supports the Ban—especially composers and Historical Performance students—others refuse to accept it.
“You can’t just do that,” said one pre-college pianist, claiming that nobody plays Rach 2 the way he plays Rach 2. “There’s a reason why this music is so popular: cuz it’s good, that’s why. No ban can stop these hands!”
His frustration is understandable: as a result of the Ban, the Pre-College Division has been forced to cancel all recitals scheduled for the remainder of the semester.
* * *
Note: Submediant is a satirical segment within The Backyard (see: the logo), and its contents should not be mistaken for real events—however believable.
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Silly. All students should have a knowledge of basic repertoire.
Oh Joel, you are silly.
It’s satire. Common sense dictates that Julliard won’t train their students without the rep before they head out to the real world. Take a nice break… and stop worrying.
The amount of trolls in this thread is unbelievable
man oh man, this is about 25 years late in coming
Ingrid violin 1986
Hi Ingrid,
I’m pretty sure Respighi and Milhaud will never be on this list!
Joel, Piano
You brought a smile to my heart with this wonderful fantasy… so glad that that there is hope in the world!
I wish this were true. I think pianists should be required to study all the Beethoven Violin Sonatas, and all the Mozart Piano Sonatas in one year, and one year should be spent only on Bach. Enough of the flashy show-off technical works –
it’s time for musicality and not technique.
HERE HERE!!!
Hear, hear!
There, There!
It is not the education, it is the selfishness!!!!
Everyone has the same right to learn what they like.It is another version of communist in Russia in this early century!!
Satire.
Unbelievable ! Now communism is in the school too?..They want to controle what students want to play?all the banned works are the must play list if you are a music major student…if society or system starts controle the freedom of music play.. It’s… The end of cultural era..
How can they understand 20C.music without learning 19 th C .music? You will not understand calculus without learning algebra first…
I understand as a teacher I have to teach same repertoire over and over again all my life .. But t is always first time for students who are learning..
Teachers are for students!
shame on you! Juillard!
This is not communism, it is a satirical piece. Have you ever read The Onion??
I think they’re just playing along.
You’re an idiot.
We’re just playing along. You should too; if everybody plays along then it becomes real, and i don’t have to hear Dvorak #9 or Bolero on the radio every week anymore (eventually when the ban catches on at other schools and all these dandies loose their popular momentum). And no one should have to listen to Carmina Burana more than once every 5 to 10 years.
Ummmm, you do realize this is satire, right?
This article is a satire. That means it’s not true. It’s just written for fun.
Calm down, it’s satire.
Hello Lynn:
This is a satirical article. Chill out. Duh!!!
I am so relieved I was never one of your students!
I don’t know; music is supposed to be liberating and transcendent, not something to be restricted by a bunch of puffed-up autocrats for completely arbitrary reasoning. It is interesting that Academia as a whole kind of poo-poo’s romantic/romantic-style music, even that which is written today, when the populace as a whole seems to gravitate towards it. Instead of sitting in an ivory tower and trying to force their sense of aesthetics on their students, perhaps they should get more in tune with their pupils and cultivate their artistry in a positive and supportive way.
Dude, it’s satire.
FUNNY!!!
That should include marches of John Philip Sousa, and any composer who’s written more than ten pieces for concert band or wind ensemble.
James Swearingen or David Holsinger anyone?
Hilarious!! I especially loved the bans for the brass instruments!!
Let’s add Holst and Zaninelli to your list for wind band.
Frank Ticheli? Grainger? Holst? Vaughn Williams? Burn all the chestnuts!
That is outrageous, I do understand, that pieces overplayed
and you want to engage fresh repertoire, but to Ben those pieces.
And exclude from Julliard??? Really?
I would ban it from middle school repertoire, it usually played so poor,
but I would think that Julliard student should know those pieces and sould be able to make it current.
Lusine
Who is Ben?
Haha! Good one!
look up ‘satire.’
Pretty soon they’ll ban subMEDIAnt triads. Be careful up there.
It’s hilarious that so many posters can’t tell that this is satire.
That is the funniest thing actually, how people can take it so seriously!
It’s hilarious that so many other posters feel the need to correct them, and be increasingly rude when doing so, especially when most of the people who “don’t get that it’s satire” are just playing along.
Did anyone else notice this footnote:
“Submediant is a satirical segment within The Backyard (see: the logo), and its contents should not be mistaken for real events—however believable.”
Methinks this is satire and not real, yes?
I am laughing my butt off over here… not just at the article which is fabulous, but also at the comments of those who seem to think it’s serious. Ha!
Are people actually taking this article seriously?
Really?
Here’s another social experiment — how thickly must a writer lay on satire and sarcasm to have at least 75% of readers identify it as such?
75% of human beings are RETARDED… So I’d say a disclaimer at the beginning of each paragraph stating, “This piece of writing is for entertainment purposes only” should do the trick! … Sadly, that might not be enough..
This is fantastic!!! I’m surprised so many of the people who commented thought this was true story. Do you not see that this is satirical????? It even says it is at the end. Think people.
I can’t believe Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto wasn’t on the list!
Seriously–I’d also add the first 3 Prokofiev piano concerti, the Ravel G major, and (particularly for precollege, methinks) any of Beethoven’s, Schumann’s A minor, and the Grieg.
There’s always the works of living composers.
There are too many stupid people commenting here.
Not sure it’s clear enough that this is satire…
what do you mean “not clear enough”? It says under the article it is a part of satirical segment of the paper – unless you do not know what “satirical” means.
Also, even without that… common sense. Do you think that would ever happen? anywhere?
When you read something, make sure you read the whole thing! It VERY CLEARLY states at the bottom that this is a satirical section within the publication. So before you go declaring that Julliard is part of some communist conspiracy make sure you read the (not so) fine print!
Hysterical! Doesn’t anyone at J.edu read The Onion? This shouldn’t be called the Backyard, but “From the Jailyard”
then someone might discover irony, sarcasm and humor in Classical music. I love Lynn’s comment about Communism; communism does do this kind of stuff, Totalitarianism does–
Just find out it is a joke! Good luck everybody!
Thank God! I’ve heard enough of that Bach and Beethoven crap. Now we can get to playing good music, such as the works of Lady Gaga, Pitbull, Britney Spears, and Rebecca Black. As a professor in music, I appreciate modern music much more than that of previous generations. As the great Ke$ha once said, “the party don’t start ’till I walk in!”
Perhaps all of those who have commented in outrage and fury, sometimes in flaming apoplexy, might read the entire post, and learn that this is satire??? Which, by the way, is spot on in terms of the targeted pieces and is both ingenious and hysterical.
You all realize this is satire?
While we’re at it – could we please ban everything(actually its realy just one thing) that Vivaldi ever wrote? And Pachelbel – definitely Pachelbel.
Canon in D has to go….
Oh, come on. Vivaldi wrote at least two things! One fast and one slow.
Really people? This is satire. Take a chill pill.
You guys did catch the part about this being satirical, right?
Maybe (non-musical) reading comprehension needs to be added to the required curriculum at music schools.
Uh, above commenters who are freaking out, please read the note at the bottom of the article:
“Submediant is a satirical segment within The Backyard (see: the logo), and its contents should not be mistaken for real events—however believable.”
This is NOT REAL, it’s just humorous. Juilliard is not actually banning music.
So cool your jets.
the cadence on your logo is not deceptive. therein in lies the deception?
Yes it is. V to vi, albeit with poor voice leading and an unresolved leading tone.
It could be I with a sub 6. V to vi6 is not so common, which is why it looks odd I think.
Brilliant!
You should submit this to the New Yorker to be published in the “Shouts and Murmurs” section.
It is true that the most often-played works have their status because their greatness is timeless, but there are so many beautiful works in the classical repertoire which we ignore because they’re not in vogue.
There should be an initiative to look in the lost and found of the history of classical music.
Just so everyone knows this is clearly satyrical. Calm your jets everyone
It would appear that many responders here took this satire seriously. It gave me a smile.
For all who did not see the note at the bottom of this article, this is satirical. That is to say, not real.
You DID all see this, right??? “Note: Submediant is a satirical segment within The Backyard (see: the logo), and its contents should not be mistaken for real events—however believable.”
Too funny – and it seems some did not read the part that this is a “satirical segment”!
I see this as a very necessary and healthy step in the right direction. However, it is hardly enforceable.
What you need to do (I mean if you’re serious about this)is gather ALL of the hard copy of said music, place it in a pile in the middle of Lincoln Center, add the accelerant du jour (gasoline, lighter fluid – pick one!) and then burn them at high noon, or perhaps as a special segment on the Today Show.
The downside of this strategy is that many students have memorized said music and so you would need to subject said students to a procedure that has been refered to as a “selective classical labotomy”. (You have to cut that stuff right out of their grey matter, baby – )
Hmmm, probably have to purge some hard drives too…
Alright, that is all
Lobotomy has already happened for many considering the number who were thinking this was not satire. Highly edumacated fools…
Even more hilarious than this article is the fact that 3/4 of the commenters believe Julliard has gone communist and don’t realize this is satirical and NOT TRUE.
Some subtleties will always be too subtle, it seems. The phrase ‘chill out’ comes to mind. Thus us NOT a communist plot.
From the above comments it appears that a way too many people have no sense of humor. “Communism” really? These comments should be fodder for more musician jokes. How many clueless musicians does it take to get a joke?
One viola player.
Oi! As a violist I take no offense to that.
Loved this! But it’s really sad when people don’t understand sarcastic wit and humour.
“Not everything you hear on the internet is true.”
-Abraham Lincoln
HAHAHAAHA!!!
Best comment yet.
I love it!! Wait, Abraham Lincoln had a computer? So that’s how he got directions to the theatre…….
Great article! What REALLY gets me, however, is the number of people commenting that are not only extremely gullible, but are also unable to read the note at the end. You’d think that blatantly stating that something is satire would weed out the foolish people. Sadly, the foolish people don’t know what ‘satire’ means.
Exactly the point – love how this Ban has spelt out almost the cliches of excerpts and rep! Don’t forget Mozart concertos…
This is awesome! Perhaps we can stop hearing the same piece being played by each and every person, THE SAME WAY! This is why the orchestral world is in upheaval….too many musicians playing the same god-forsaken pieces THE SAME WAY for way too many years. This is great! Its about time!
For anyone who could not tell within the first few sentences that this is a joke, I have bridge I’d like you to look at not too far from Juilliard……
And some ocean front property in Iowa……
Very funny, but I knew it was satirical the moment I came to the part about belcanto, which is to be considered anything but standard still, except for five or six “warhorses”.
Edit:
At the time of this article’s original publication, guitarists had been spared from the ban. Many attributed this omission to the fact that the guitar repertoire is mostly weak as fuck anyway, so it’s no wonder they play the same shit over and over, but apparently the administration had simply forgotten guitar was a real instrument (again). Recognizing their error the administration amended the ban to include Assad’s Aquarelle, Barrios’s La Catedral, the Prelude from Bach’s Lute Suite No. 4 in E, Giuliani’s Grand Overture, Ginastera’s Sonata, Rodrigo’s Concerto de Aranjuez, all Isaac Albéniz transcriptions, and especially Koyunbaba.
This is just funny. It had me going for a while, until the sixteenth note remark about violas. After that, this sounded more and more like the Onion.
Congratulations to the SubMEDIAnt for a GREAT piece.
Nice. It had me until it talked about violists and sixteenth notes.
I sometimes fantasize about a list like this for sax Rep:
“Sonata” by Paul Creston
“Sonata” by Bernhard Heiden
“Concerto” by Alexander Glazunov
FUNNY! Certainly some I would agree with. About 15 years ago some critic, sorry forgot who, suggested that pianists worldwide put a moratorium on programming any work of Chop for a year. Not a bad idea maybe????
Also banned should be gatherings of any more than one brass player in any practice room. I still have nightmares of a tuba quartet practicing in the room next to mine….
Reminds me of high school examining and the never ending stream of clarinet students walking in playing Schumann Fantasiestucke. Lots of beer needed at the end of those days!
Message from across the pond in Britain: we welcome this Ban. Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto should also be added to the list soon!
I don’t know what made me laugh more, the article or the intelligence challenged dopes!!!
I shall now make the first and most original statement on this topic: “Hey, guys! It’s a joke!”
As usual the Tuba is forgotten…except for the ride
Ah, both the stupid and the lazy have exposed themselves. What do you want to bet they scanned a FB posting headline, formed a knee-jerk reaction, then blathered out an opinion without even reading the article? Brought to you by the same folks who never check-in with Snopes before passing along urban legends as fact…
OMG. The earth is going to stop spinning on its axis when the warhorses aren’t played. God forbid that music schools may have to find repertoire that someone other than music nerds want to hear. Oh, I can’t wait…music by Pulitzer prize winners! Time is ticking on the whole darned classical music world and now it’s not only ticking…it’s flying!
OMG… clearly everyone who wrote a serious comment regarding this article knew it was satire, and was actually being DOUBLE satirical. Man.. I guess the joke is on the satire police. SOO obvious too.
also, SATIRE
Not very funny and more viola hate as usual even though the suites sound best on viola.
Is this for real? lol violists without Bach? I think to make it more fun we should ask all violists to play without A string. So no Paganini’s 24th Caprice for violists too?
I love the photo.
What! No mention of Sor, Tarrega, etc, for the poor guitarists? Let alone Django Reinhart, Satriani, Hendrix, etc? What’s the world coming to? Oh, well, we’ll just have to satisfy ourselves with transpositions of Liszt, Count Basie, and the like …
Perhaps the violists should play Liszt and Count Basie, etc. A change is as good as a holiday, after all!
I’m not sure if ENOUGH people have pointed out the satirical basis of this piece yet.
I mean, there might be some horn players freaking out about not being allowed to play their ONLY repertoire, and a lot of prospective Julliard violists rejoicing that they don’t need to count beyond 16ths, and ALL clarinetists wondering wtf else besides the Mozart Concerto they are supposed to play.
Just want to make sure we state the obvious at least 5000 times in this thread!
Going to go practice some modernist viola sonatas now
Good riddance Rach 2 AND 3!
For orchestral, I’d like to ban Beethoven 5, All Mahler, Tristan und Isolde Prelude and Liebestod, Tchaikovsky ballets namely The Nutcracker, Sleeping Beauty, Swan Lake… and did I mention The Nutcracker?
Ravel’s Boléro should be banned.
No bans for timpani/percussion? As usual no one thinks much about them.
Bruch violin concerto. Sibelius violin concerto.
Oh yeah… and The Nutcracker.
A real blow would be all instrumental sonatas of Hindemith. Especially for Tuba!
Great satirical piece, shared it widely!
If Jussi Bjorling, tell him I’m Bizet!
Ridiculous, only nerd musicians would find this funny.
No Schumann Fantasiestücke or Bartók Miraculous Mandarin?! AAAAAHHHHHH!
Yes, please ban these pieces, much as I love them. (And YES, I get it’s satire….) Make kids learn Chopin 1st Sonata; Schumann 3rd Sonata; Liszt Großes Konzertsolo. And Rachmaninoff FOURTH Concerto (in its first version, those guys who edited it in the Boosey critical edition need some money!)
Happy post-Thanksgiving!
PLEASE! the complete works of Sarasate and Wieniawski. Severest penalties for anyone even thinking about playing Zigeunerweisen.
How about age limits? No op 109/10/11 under the age of 35???
YES. (Certainly op. 106 and op. 111…let’s add 101 to that list too) I once saw a competition program with an 11-year-old playing 111. WTF?
As an aside, I’d put Schubert’s Bb sonata on the list of do-not-play-under-age-40 or until you’ve had your heart stomped on a few times.
I would say before college age, say 18. I know scores of pianists who learned late beethoven in undergrad, including me.
Among the masterworks, there’s no such thing as hackneyed repertoire; there are only hackneyed performances!
I showed this to my violin professor who received her masters and doctorate from Juilliard and she found it hilarious!!
Now I wish Bach was banned for violins as well. Darn you violist. =p
In the spirit of these exchanges, I love Emma’s comment about Vivaldi only writing two things – fast and slow. She might really enjoy to Rachel Podger’s recordings of his La Stravaganza concertos http://www.allmusic.com/album/vivaldi-la-stravaganza-mw0001847362 or, coming soon, Kati Debretski with the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment, of the Four Seasons, both of whom are absolutely spectacular interpreters! (I wonder why women perform his works, which were, after all, written for women, so well???)
For satire of a different kind, please read the following tongue in cheek review of John Cage’s 4′ 33″.
I discovered this a few years ago when I was looking up notes about the piece.
Enjoy this fake and brilliant review from Patrick C. Waller. An April Fool’s joke. Brilliant.
http://www.musicweb-international.com/classrev/2007/Apr07/Cage_433.htm
Bravo! Ban Mahler and Strauss? Indeed. Next should be considered any Jazz tune built on Rhythm changes or Blues as well as Cherokee, Back Home in Indiana, Sweet Georgia Brown, and ANYTHING by Ellington or Strayhorn. Also up for a serious look should be the works of L Armstrong, Miles Davis, Coltrane (Giant Steps and it’s variants in particular), Dizzy Gillespie (A Night in Tunisia, Salt Peanuts, Hey Pete- Let’s Eat More Meat!) T Monk, Basie, Sammy Nestico, Thad Jones, Mel Torme, C Brown, F Hubbard, to name just a few.
Time for the old guard to be retired, and the fresh uber hip to be in the forefront of the education process. Geezer Jazz has had long enough to bore us with their storytelling and heart on sleeve emotional content. Today’s Improvised Music should be more aligned with the current state of affairs. Self involved yet naive. Streams of consciousness over laid with the ability to go in any direction at any time. Nationalistic yet provincial. The Audience be damned. Music for musicians by musicians IMO. If the world at large won’t acknowledge our world class skills and talents we need to force it down their throats and what better place to start then Julliard!
Nothing on the thrash metal guitar repertoir.
I do have a pet peeve that I will vent here: violinists who come to orchestra rehearsal and warm up with a full-volume rendition of the concerto they are currently working on or their all-time favorite. It stinks of show-off-ism. Even if the concerto is not on the banned list
, PLEASE don’t try to show me your stuff 5 minutes prior to the downbeat.
LIKE
Yay! So sick of hearing Rach 2 and 3 over and over and over and over and over again, ad nauseaum, on my local public radio station. Unfortunately, they forgot Beethoven’s 9th and as a bassoonist I wouldn’t mind throwing in the Mozart Concerto.
On one hand, I am laughing at these pianists who have been preparing all year to be a chopin-liszt lover and just seeing them cry practicing Memphisto and Dante.
But on the other hand, my Alkan repertoire will be jeopardized as more pianists will start learning Alkan, putting the value of my Alkan repertoire down to mundane
Laughed my guts out on the Mozart trill thing…
Wait… They didn’t ban the Mendelssohn violin concerto? What were they thinking!?!